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Learning to Trust When I Long for Control

I like to be in control. Of our schedule. Our future. Our kids’ lives. My career. Basically anything and everything runs through me, or so I’d like to think. 

Which is why a Facebook ad made me laugh out loud recently and had me sending a screenshot of it to my family. It was a picture of three women in sweatshirts. One said, “I’m the youngest sister. Rules don’t apply to me.” This was a perfect statement for one of my little sisters, who lived on her own radar and got away with everything. The next sweatshirt read, “I’m the middle sister. I’m the reason we have rules.” This phrase didn’t much relate to my middle sister who has been a rule-follower her whole life.

But the oldest sister sweatshirt? It stopped me in my tracks with its truth for me. 

It said, “I’m the oldest sister. I make the rules.”

Yup. That’s me. The boss. The OG. As the firstborn of five siblings, I’m the commander in charge. My siblings, husband, kids—basically all my family—would agree. What I say usually goes. Now, I like to think I direct everyone to do things my way in a nice and pleasant fashion, but it’s still my way. My old boss used to lovingly say I was a lion disguised as a golden retriever. Hilarious and true. 

Leading the charge in the big and small things in life can be challenging and rewarding. I love determining the next course of action, the steps to mend things. I’m a fixer. So, as long as things are getting accomplished, it’s okay for me to be the “boss,” right? 


Surrender quote graphicLet me tell you the funny thing God did the same day I saw that ad.

I always read to help me fall asleep each night. And sometimes, I simply open my Bible to do so. That night, I somehow ended up in Isaiah chapter 45, and verse 9 stopped me quick, “How terrible it will be for anyone who argues with his Maker! He is like a broken piece of pottery lying on the ground. Does clay say to a potter, ‘What are you making?’ Does a pot say, ‘You don’t have any skill.’”  

I was dealing with some trauma over something we thought we’d conquered that had dropped right back in and erupted pain all over again. Seeing my loved one in agony over a situation out of her control made me want to take control for her. I wanted to restore to health her broken heart! It had my oldest sister lion-in-disguise instinct rearing its head. I plotted out how to do just that—planning out the conversations I would force to take place to heal her. I was going to soothe the pain with love and hugs and some outright sassin’ to the person who wronged her. I was going to find a way! My worry and fear were masked by my bossiness and control-freak mentality.

That is until Isaiah 45:9 reminded me God is in charge. All my striving to coerce resolution and ease the pain was like the pot arguing with the Potter. God knows what He’s doing. In fact, my idea of putting the pieces back together is usually nothing compared to what the Fixer has in mind. Isaiah 45:9 reminds me God is in charge. All my striving to coerce resolution & ease the pain is like the pot arguing with the Potter. God knows what He's doing. Click To Tweet

As I read that verse lying in bed hoping sleep would come quickly, God solidified this truth in my heart. I needed to sit back and allow Him to restore the broken heart and watch Him construct the pot He was making. 

I’ll admit, even though I went to bed talking to God about surrendering my need control things and to allow Him to work, it’s hard for me. I have to constantly catch myself and return to Him saying, “Nope. God, I give it to You. You are a much better mender and boss!”I'll admit, surrendering my need control things and to allow God to work is hard for me. I have to constantly catch myself and return to Him saying, “Nope. God, I give it to You. You are a much better mender and boss!” Click To Tweet Surrender quote graphic

With the new year, this is one of my hopes—to remain humbly surrendered to Jesus for all things, especially those I want to control. Let this little story of how a Facebook ad rocked my world serve as a reminder to you—you oldest, bossiest, control-iest, lions disguised as golden retrievers—that God is the Potter, the Master, the Boss Who never gets anything wrong. 

Jesus, help us to surrender all things to You today and every day. You are in charge. You are our Potter, and we are the pots, and this is assurance that all is well. Thank You for being the best Boss ever. Amen.  

Let talk about this! Share your thoughts with us in the comments below, because we can all learn from and encourage each other. And make sure to engage with us on Facebook and Instagram where we post daily snippets of encouragement!

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