I cannot describe how outrageous 2019 actually was. There were many days I felt I couldn’t breathe. I ended up in the emergency room because of the aching in my chest that I honestly believed was a heart attack. I’ve had all the tests; my physical heart is fine. It seemed that it was my emotional heart that was aching and broken. I felt I was endlessly searching for some truth and light in the midst of a torrential sea of darkness. A shift came as I learned my need to be reconciled to the fact that things had to happen last year for me to become the woman God created me to be. Click To Tweet
I spent hours going over everything trying to figure out what had gone wrong. I released a friendship of five plus years for reasons I still don’t fully understand but have come to accept. I stepped out of leading ministry and a Bible study group, quit two jobs, was unemployed for several weeks, and felt a piercing loneliness.
Through all the pain, I found my comfort in God, spending hours immersing myself in His promises, searching Scripture for answers and direction for the future. Click To Tweet I’ve often encouraged friends when they found themselves in these places with verses I believed breathed life into them but none of those brought peace. The healing came as I breathed in grace-filled nuggets of truth I had not noticed before. Praise was on my lips day and night in an effort to reclaim all that I’d lost.
I found hope in verses such as “I am the resurrection and the life” (John 11:25). Sermons that taught 
me about making dead things come alive. Genesis 28:16 says, “Surely the Lord is in this place and I did not know it!” Seriously, I did not recognize His intervening on my behalf and this verse helped me remember God is with me. There were songs that resonated with my heart cry of knowing who God says I am that gave me courage to keep moving forward.
In sweet surrender, I finally laid aside all the angst associated with past pain and began to progress towards healing. The transforming work of the Holy Spirit became more prevalent, teaching me to relinquish control. Click To Tweet I’m grateful I serve a God who gently yet consistently nudges me towards the path He has for me.
As I look forward to 2020, I am ready to resume actively pursuing my journey in Christ, hand in hand with my Savior. Won’t you join me?
Where are you at in 2020? Are you excited for what God has ahead or are you feeling discouraged and defeated? What can you do to today to find strength, anticipation, and encouragement in Christ? Share your thoughts with us in the comments below and connect with us on Facebook and Instagram.
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Christ’s grace has the power to change everything. We don’t have to strive, to compete or compare, or question whether or not we measure up. We’re enough because Christ in us in enough. The cross of Christ sets us free.
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